Mind Over Matt(er)

Mind over matter – ‘The use of willpower to overcome physical problems’

How often do you find yourself, sat there, procrastinating about wanting to do something? If you’re like me, then, well, the frequency is far too often. The word I am going to use here is motivation. I believe this is the key to action, whether it be housework, studying, exercising, blogging (ahem) or any of the other tens of activities we had planned in our minds the night before, it all comes down to motivation. We trick ourselves too often; you’ll be laying in bed, processing all those tasks you’ll get up and complete the next morning, believing that ‘ah it’s fine, I’ll do it tomorrow’ is a statement that you always follow. Yet, you wake up several hours later, when the sun has risen, with a completely different frame of mind. ‘What was I thinking? Meh, I really can’t be bothered to do anything, today’. Is this what they mean by ‘night owl’ or ‘morning lark’? The night owl comes alive at night, feeling creative, motivated, inspired…but of course, it’s too late in the day to pursue any of these thoughts. So, you plan in your head that, tomorrow, you’ll accomplish these goals, objectives or aims that you’ve convinced yourself you’ll conquer. In essence, you’re stuck in this loop of never actually achieving anything, because your nightly thoughts are always lulling you into a false sense of motivation, as your mind is reset overnight.

You end up in a deep sense of self-pity. ‘Ugh, I’m so lazy, what is wrong with me?’. I’d like to point out, there is nothing wrong with you. Human nature dictates that you make your life as easy as possible for yourself. If that means crashing on the sofa, snacking to your favourite Netflix series, then so be it, this is easier and probably more enjoyable than getting up and doing something that requires energy. The important matter here is to treat these sofa sessions as rewards, and not the normality. A reward for all the hard work you put in earlier in the day.

Breaking the cycle. Upsetting the routine. Finding the motivation. All terms used for turning your life around, whether it be just for the day, a week, or the amount of time needed for your objective. You’ll need to crack the system in order to achieve these. It feels kind of obvious, that the first step is to rip off that band aid. Climb that mental barrier which has been blocking your path. Get up and do it. In my case, with this blog, just start writing. If it’s exercise, step outside. If it’s housework, choirs, then start small, simply get the hoover out for example. I know, your brain is telling you that it would be easier to do nothing. Brain, you’re right! In the short term, I’m doing just fine relaxing, thanks. The problem here is that short term becomes long term, because the routine of relaxing becomes the norm for you.

Don’t overdo it. Often, over time, jobs build up in our minds and it can become overwhelming. You convince yourself you’ll get it all done, but the reality is that you won’t even begin, because you’ve put too much on your plate. Break it down. Prioritise. Cut down your tasks, perhaps highlighting the easiest ones that can be ticked off within just a few minutes. If it’s a big assignment you need to do, then allow step one to be just preparation. If it’s a written task, jot down some notes, write down the title. If it’s a physical activity, get changed into the attire needed. If it’s housework, prepare the tools. Don’t force yourself to act out the assignment, don’t picture the task as a whole.

Step two. Dip your toe in the water. Write a paragraph. It doesn’t have to be the first paragraph (is there one part of the piece that you feel you know best?). Physical activity – step out the door (in your gear, preferably). Housework – turn on that hoover (the noise itself might shock you into a state of motivation….no? Well, I tried!).

Step three. Execution. Woah, it’s okay! This isn’t the part where you cut your own head off, even if that does feel easier than pursuing your goal (in which case, stay away from your knife draw…). Repeat step one and two. How do you feel? If you still think you’re not ready, don’t worry, like I said earlier, don’t force yourself. If step one and two went okay, then why keep at it, see how far you get? Execute your plan.

Distractions/positive enforcements. Move your phone out of a reachable distance. Turn off notifications. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked into social media. Do not put the T.V. on. Visual distractions are the worst. Sometimes, you’ll become so distracted that you forget what you were trying to achieve in the first place. Music is good, if it’s upbeat (unless you like to blubber to Adele whilst hoovering, go for it!). Make sure you have a playlist though, otherwise you’ll distract yourself by choosing the music every few minutes. Put a reward in place, something to strive towards. For example, tell yourself that if you complete said task, then you’ll allow yourself that session on the sofa. You earned it, instead of self-pitying on that sofa because you crashed there without attempting any tasks.

Now, this is all very much easier said than done. This is where ‘mind over matter’ comes in. You can’t achieve any of what has been said already, without a strong mind. The only thing stopping you from doing something is your own thoughts. Again, your mind telling yourself that you can’t be bothered is perfectly normal. Your mind is formatted to take it easy. Changing that trail of thought from a relaxed attitude, to that of a positive I’m-going-to-get-up-and-do-this attitude, takes real courage and determination; to essentially climb ‘over’ the physical problem (matter), using your ‘mind’.

Let’s consider what it is that actually motivates you? In my instance, it’s other people that inspire me to pursue my goals. Whether it’s witnessing them being motivated, achieving their dreams (if they can do it, I can too, surely!) or by others simply giving me feedback or compliments, that’s always a mental boost. This is a philosophy I believe in; if we are all kind to each other, help each other out where we can, then we’ll all be able to create a togetherness which strives each other on.

“Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise” – Jess Lair.

Praise injects a real sense of self purpose within me. It makes me feel loved, like I’m heading on the right track in life. And, from this, stems motivation. I couldn’t have started this blog, or have gone speed dating, or put myself out there more, without the backing of my friends and family. So, I dipped my toe, I started the blog, I signed up to speed dating…I took the first step. The outpour of praise was great! It really spurred me on. Unless you make a start on something, take that plunge, leap of faith, then you aren’t opening any doors. You may feel safe contained within yourself, but you are limiting your capabilities at the same time. I know it’s something we’ve all heard before ‘until you try, you don’t really know, do you?’. I guess you can’t accept this until you are ready, mentally. If you’re not there yet, don’t panic. It’ll come. I do need to suggest that you give it consideration, though. Think about it, as in, some serious thought. You’ll be battling with your demons, who will be wanting to hold you back, keep you in your ‘safe’ place, I understand that. Perhaps you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the outcome, if you did summon the courage to ‘do it’? I guess you’ll never know until…okay, you get where I’m going with this by now!

I’d also like to add, that if you did dip your toe in the water, and it didn’t feel good, then don’t worry! There is still hope. I’m going to focus on physical activity for this point. So you’ve been meaning to hit up the gym/go jogging/swimming etc for some time now. You finally decide to get out there and do it *thumbs up*. Twenty minutes later, you are in agony, knackered, conscious of others around you judging you. The demon inside will be making you feel silly ‘see, I told you, you were never made out for this’; he’s just wanting to remain in your safe zone. Please re-consider. Of course, the first time is going to be scary. Your body has been thrown out of its layer of comfort, the odds were always on that it wouldn’t be the most enjoyable experience, first time around. Do you realise, though, that you broke down a barrier, just by trying it? Focus on this. Don’t let those aches, pains, anxieties put you off. They’ll fade over time.

Love yourself. Sounds pretty cheesy, I hear you! Admire your own courage, bravery, determination. Appreciate yourself, for who you are, for getting this far in life. Even if you are still in that unmotivated sofa stage, that doesn’t matter, you can still think of things that you love about yourself. If not, then ask a close friend…focus on the positives that they see in you. Build from that. Focus. Focus on those positive thoughts. Control your mind, keep those demons at bay…you can do this!

To summarize, the willpower to overcome physical problems is constructed through motivation, in my own opinion. Teaching your brain to act in a positive manner is key, and only you hold the key to applying this. Others have the ability to help you on your journey to a positive mindset, and you can use their support as a building block. They can only get you so far, though, and from then on, it is solely down to you to achieve all of your goals, aims, targets that have been catching cobwebs in your mind. Perhaps this blog is just a friendly reminder that you are awesome, each and every one of you, and you have the capability to achieve so much. You just need to seize the day, grab that opportunity when it comes, reach out, if needed. Start small, wherever necessary, and build on that first step.

If you’ve made it this far, then fear not, the end of this blog is nigh! Now I’m going to ask you to go and do something, maybe it’s something you’ve been putting off for a while, maybe it’s catching up with that loved one, or if it’s just rolling out of bed and doing those dreaded dishes…the possibilities really are limitless, once you’ve discovered that it is indeed, MindOverMatt(er).

Oh, hmm, I guess that means I’m off to take my own advice. Where do we keep the hoover, again?

BONUS SEGMENT!

When I’m playing football, I often forget to focus on the ball. I’m so concerned with my surroundings; I get stuck in this rut of watching the ball and not actually trying my best to get involved. I need to constantly remind myself to keep focus, and I’m going to relate this to motivation. You’ll often forget/ put aside your targets, ambitions etc, during the hustle and bustle that is life. You’ll get caught up in social issues that make you fearful to pursue your desires. You’ll have to take a step back every now and then, take in, appreciate what is in front of you. Focus on what you really want, and not to let others dictate or shape your life. If I want the ball, I must go and get it. Yeah, I’ll hope to get a helping hand every now and then, I’ll be passed the ball (given some positive encouragement), but essentially, I have the biggest influence on myself (going out there and chasing down goals, pun intended).

Get up.

Focus on the positives.

Love those around you.

Love yourself.

Learn to control your mind.

YOU GOT THIS.